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Dear friend, maybe you can relate to the feeling of living in the shadow of someone else's rules.

I grew up in a cozy suburban neighborhood, where my every move was closely watched by my parents.

They hovered over me, making sure I never faced a challenge or disappointment. My parents thought they are in charge of me as they meticulously orchestrated my life. They were so well-intentioned but overprotective, believing that shielding me from life's challenges was the best way to ensure my success.

How little did they know the damage they are causing.
They wanted to guide me through every decision, but their careful planning left me feeling suffocated and unable to assert my own preferences.

On the other hand, I found it so obvious my parents treated my brothers totally different. They were praised on a regular basis, their endeavors were encouraged and my parents made no secret of their pride for the accomplishments of my siblings.

And as I grew older, my self-image began to suffer.

It seemed, like my brothers, my peers had more freedom, facing challenges and making decisions on their own. I, on the other hand, felt a constant sense of self-doubt. I lacked the confidence to tackle even the simplest tasks without my parents' guidance or approval.

My parents' overbearing nature had left me socially inexperienced, and I often found it hard to connect with others. Always fearing that I would say or do something wrong.

My friends were exploring various activities and forming their identities, while I felt trapped in a bubble of my parents' making. I longed to try new things and make my own choices, but the fear of disappointing and conflict with my parents held me back.

At school, my classmates talked about their aspirations, talents, and unique interests. I, however, felt inadequate and struggled to identify my own strengths.

My self-esteem plummeted as I compared myself to everyone around me.  I felt like I just couldn't measure up to the expectations of life.

As I were nearing adulthood, I was plagued by anxiety and the constant fear of failure.

Realizing I was living in the shadow of the idea my parents had for my life, marked a turning point for me. I realized I never had the chance to discover my own identity, who I am and what I wanted from life. So, I decided to get a University degree in psychology. To analyze and discover myself.

And after years of studying, I truly did get the answers I were looking for.

I have learned to embrace my individuality.

I discovered that it was okay to make mistakes, that imperfections could be beautiful too. And most importantly, that perfect don’t even exist.

As I continued to pursue my interests in self-development, my self-esteem improved. The relationship I had with myself transformed as I began to trust my abilities. And through perseverance and self-discovery, I proved to myself, and others, that I was capable of so much more than I had ever imagined, and that I could define my own path in life.

 

My journey is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the importance of finding one's own voice and I would like to share it with you.

As life happens and changes, we all have opportunities to lose who we really are. You go through a breakup, a divorce, sickness, you encounter bullies on your path and your thoughts will start telling you: “you are not enough, you don’t have what it takes, you are not attractive, nobody wants to be around you”.

Your worth and value are not based on other people and circumstances and they certainly don’t determine who you are.

You are capable of overcoming anxiety, overthinking, self-doubt, self-image issues and to embrace your individuality. Realize that your uniqueness is something to celebrate, not hide.

Go on a proven journey of self-discovery and your newfound clarity will allow you to build deeper connections with yourself, your life and with others.

It is time to mend the relationship you have with yourself, your life and others.

Thanks for submitting!

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